Brian Kelly’s First Week Checklist

December 22, 2009

By:  Evan J. Thomas

Now that Brian Kelly has been on the job at Notre Dame for just over a week, I am going over a mock first week checklist for Coach Kelly.  Enjoy!

 

-         Return Charlie Weis’ Super Bowl rings that he left in the desk drawer.

-         Take down the autographed photos of former Michigan quarterback Tom Brady that were gracing the walls.

-         Have the movie “Rudy” playing on a continuous loop in my office Blue Ray player.

-         Follow up on future Irish starting quarterback Dayne Christ and his scheduled rehab.

-         Wrap wide receiver Michael Floyd in bubble wrap so he doesn’t get injured this offseason.

-         Learn the names of all janitors who sweep and mop the floors.

-         Remember to say 100 Hail Mary’s before leaving church.

-         Call Los Angeles post office to forward all mail marked “University of Southern California” to South Bend, Indiana

-         Contact University of Washington about the possibility of Nate Montana returning to Notre Dame in a backup roll.

-         Hope that “Rudy, The Golden Gnome” reaches 100,000 friends on Facebook!!  Search: “Rudy, The Golden Gnome” and become a fan!

-         Hire an offensive and defensive coordinator; I think Charlie Weis may be looking for a coordinator job.

-         Set up a 5-year plan on how not to lose to Navy.

-         Make sure to rid my closet of all things red and black.

-         Send all Cincinnati hate mail to Ann Arbor, Michigan.

-         Thank ND Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick for this job every time I see him.

-         Walk the campus of Notre Dame and think to myself how small Cincinnati was compared to this.

-         Silently search for a location on the stadium grounds for where they will erect my bronze statue after winning a national title.

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