December 22, 2009
By: Evan J. Thomas
Now that Brian Kelly has been on the job at Notre Dame for just over a week, I am going over a mock first week checklist for Coach Kelly. Enjoy!
- Return Charlie Weis’ Super Bowl rings that he left in the desk drawer.
- Take down the autographed photos of former Michigan quarterback Tom Brady that were gracing the walls.
- Have the movie “Rudy” playing on a continuous loop in my office Blue Ray player.
- Follow up on future Irish starting quarterback Dayne Christ and his scheduled rehab.
- Wrap wide receiver Michael Floyd in bubble wrap so he doesn’t get injured this offseason.
- Learn the names of all janitors who sweep and mop the floors.
- Remember to say 100 Hail Mary’s before leaving church.
- Call Los Angeles post office to forward all mail marked “University of Southern California” to South Bend, Indiana
- Contact University of Washington about the possibility of Nate Montana returning to Notre Dame in a backup roll.
- Hope that “Rudy, The Golden Gnome” reaches 100,000 friends on Facebook!! Search: “Rudy, The Golden Gnome” and become a fan!
- Hire an offensive and defensive coordinator; I think Charlie Weis may be looking for a coordinator job.
- Set up a 5-year plan on how not to lose to Navy.
- Make sure to rid my closet of all things red and black.
- Send all Cincinnati hate mail to Ann Arbor, Michigan.
- Thank ND Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick for this job every time I see him.
- Walk the campus of Notre Dame and think to myself how small Cincinnati was compared to this.
- Silently search for a location on the stadium grounds for where they will erect my bronze statue after winning a national title.
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